| I don't get it. |
[10.12.07] |
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Carrie: The irony is, Aiden's acting EXACTLY the way I wished Big would've behaved; and I'm behaving just like Big.
Miranda: Maybe you don't believe it's for real unless somebody's playing hard to get.
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| Goodbye my almost lover.. |
[7.25.07] |
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funny story. i was going to write a really long emo ass blog. because i'm feeling the need to express my emo-ness to something or someone, or just everyone who reads this..
but then, i came across this song. And it's speaking for me.
Almost Lover - A Fine Frenzy
Your fingertips along my skin,
the palm trees swaying in the wind..
images.
You sang me spanish lullabies,
the sweetest sadness in your eyes..
clever trick. I'd never want to see you unhappy,
I thought you'd want the same for me. Goodbye my almost lover
Goodbye my hopeless dream
I'm trying not to think about you
Can't you just let me be?
Goodbye my luckless romance
I've turned my back on you
I should have known you'd bring me heartache,
almost lovers always do We walked along a crowed street
You took my hand and danced with me..
images.
And when i left you kissed my lips
you told me you'd never ever forget these images.
I'd never want to see you unhappy
I thought you'd want the same for me Goodbye my almost lover
Goodbye my hopeless dream
I'm trying not to think about you
Can't you just let me be?
So long my luckless romance
My back is turned on you..
I should have known you'd bring me heartache,
almost lovers always do I cannot go to the ocean
I cannot drive the streets at night
I cannot wake up in the morning
without you on my mind.
So you're gone and i'm haunted
and i'll bet you are just fine...
Did i make it that easy
to walk right in and out
of my life? Goodbye my almost lover
Goodbye my hopeless dream,
I'm trying not to think about you
Why can't you just let me be?
So long my luckless romance
My back is turned on you..
I should have known you'd bring me heartache,
almost lovers always do.
- N xo
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| I hate love. |
[7.18.07] |
| [ |
mood |
| |
 crushed |
] |
"Have you ever been in love? Horrible isn't it? It makes you so vulnerable. It opens your chest and it opens up your heart and it means that someone can get inside you and mess you up. You build up all these defenses, you build up a whole suit of armor, so that nothing can hurt you, then one stupid person, no different from any other stupid person, wanders into your stupid life...You give them a piece of you. They didn't ask for it. They did something dumb one day, like kiss you or smile at you, and then your life isn't your own anymore. Love takes hostages. It gets inside you. It eats you out and leaves you crying in the darkness, so simple a phrase like 'maybe we should be just friends' turns into a glass splinter working its way into your heart. It hurts. Not just in the imagination. Not just in the mind. It's a soul-hurt, a real gets-inside-you-and-rips-you-apart pain. I hate love.” - Neil Gamain.
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[5.18.07] |
"Your reason and your passion are the rudder and the sail of your seafaring soul."
Thank you Ms. Anne. I had no idea you thought that way about me. Thanks for being such an awesome lit. teacher, even though more often than not, you were cranky. It was tough love. I'm gonna miss you!
And I'm gonna miss the whole of PL2 as well.. I never thought that I would get so attatched to all of you. Such a turnover from when i started out and i HATED it, and all i wanted to do was leave. Counting down the days till I could leave taylor's college and my class behind. And now the day is here, and I'm so sad :( I love all of you so much, thank you for putting up with my shit.
I won't forget any of you in PL2. Best.Class.Ever.
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[5.4.07] |
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My love resumes on the 15th of June.
My thoughts are put into perspective on the 15th of June.
My destination will be known on the 15th of June.
My ambition is focused on the 15th of June.
My Journey will come to amazing crossroads on the 15th of June.
My chapter will be closed on the 15th of June.
Your chapter in MY book, will be closed on the 15th of June.
My heartbreak ends on the 15th of June.
My heart will be replaced and whole again on the 15th of June.
My life begins on the 15th of June.
My world changes on the 15th of June.
..are you ready?
You better be.
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| hello goodbye. |
[3.14.07] |
| [ |
music |
| |
Gym Class Heroes - Cupid's Chokehold |
] |
I know I'm young, but if i had to choose between him and the sun; i'd be one nocturnal son of a gun.
Sorry, Gym class heroes song stuck in my head. It's so sweet.
Uhmm So i'm trying to kill time in the library. I should be studying but i can't be arsed to. I just.. CAN'T! It's terrible i know, it's really bad, i KNOW. I just can't do it right now. When i see my books i feel the sudden urge to kick, cry, scream and throw them right out the window. I wish i could fast forward to the end of September. The real beginning of my holiday. I can't wait to just get this over and done with and then relax for a while. I'm so tired. But when I try to sleep I start thinking about how close the trials are, how close the finals are, how tired i am and how i can't get sleep because my brain aches.
I rpobbaly sound really ridiculous right now. I FEEL really ridiculous right. I feel like a whole mountain has fallen on top of me, and I know it hasn't. I know it's nowhere near that, but i still feel it. So retarded. I need to just relax.
I need to stop whining. Take a breath. Open my eyes and really WAKE UP. It is not the end of the world. Things could be worse. And really, considering the situation; I am lucky. I'm okay. I will be okay. I always am.
PS: Watch 300. Definitely worth it for the man candy :) Hehehe!!
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| Cinnamon Ice Blended.. No cream. |
[1.9.07] |
| [ |
mood |
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sad |
] |
Thank you :)
I know it's a wonderful world
but I can't feel it right now
And i thought I was doing well
But I just want to cry now
Well I know that its a wonderful world from the sky down to the sea,
but I can only see when you're here, here with me.
take care
love,
Naz xo
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| hello there. |
[12.21.06] |
| [ |
mood |
| |
 discontent |
] |
| [ |
music |
| |
Muse - Starlight |
] |
uhm.
I don't feel so good. I mean, I should be feeling good, like.. happy right?.. I mean I'm home, and I'm surrounded by everyone I love and who love me, in the place I love, and not to mention the good food ;p.. but; I just don't feel so good. There's like this strange gut feeling that's telling me to worry and not be too happy because something bad is going to happen. It's probably paranoia (no clue what about) but I just can't seem to shake it.
Yeah. I just had to let that out.
I'm worried, and I don't know what for.
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| Cribs. |
[9.29.06] |
| [ |
mood |
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 scared |
] |
| [ |
music |
| |
Gnarls Barkley - Crazy |
] |
I figure I'd show you guys my house in KL, cause I have nothing to say, and they say a picture is worth a thousand words right?
I love the way the sun comes in from my bedroom window every morning. :)
AS finals on the 16th of October!!!
16/10 - Math paper 1; pure math.
23/10 - Thinking Skills paper 1; MCQ.
3/11 - Maths paper 6 ; statistics
8/11 - Econs paper 1 & 2 and Englisht Lit paper 3; poetry and prose.
14/11 - Thinking skills paper 2. I hate this paper.
15/11 - English literature paper 4; Drama.
Holy mother of god. I'm scared shitless. I think I'm going to have a break down, I just don't know when.
I really really, more than anything, don't want to fuck up!
BIG HUG.
Naz xo
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| Okayy |
[9.3.06] |
| [ |
mood |
| |
 chipper |
] |
| [ |
music |
| |
Snow Patrol - Chasing Cars |
] |
so I really don't know what i did to piss you off, (i'm guessing you're pissed off cause you keep avoiding me) but whatever it was, I seem to have done an excellent job.
You confuse me so much sometimes, actually all the time.
You are confused.
You are just plain weird and rude I might add.
YOU, I really miss YOU already and I know I'm not supposed to.
and You? I don't even know where to start with You.
Exams are over on tuesday. Coming back to Brunei SOOONN!!!
Photos? i think so.
Beware! there are LOADS.
That's all!
I miss every single last one of you :(
cant wait to go home!
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| My Two Cents. |
[8.6.06] |
| [ |
mood |
| |
 bitchy |
] |
| [ |
music |
| |
none |
] |
I realize that it's hard for you, and I know that sometimes it's just a lot more than you can handle.
I know that they add extra pressure on you, and I see first hand how you sometimes seem to be unable to
cope with it. But you should realize on your part that we try to make it easier on you.
What goes around comes around..and I can't wait.
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| Be still beating heart, this could be a brand new start. |
[1.1.06] |
| [ |
mood |
| |
nauseated |
] |
Right.
16 years in Brunei and now it’s time to go.
…
I really didn’t want to make one of these goodbye type blog things cause 1) I know I’m going to miss someone out 2) I really can’t describe right now in words, what I feel. Well I can if “BLAARHAFDKHASITAHGKSLHGOAUREP(@*#%@)(*!!!!! WAHHKAEHGIWT(HAESRIU^&*$(*@)@*$#HG!” were words. But, I figure I should at least try. Here it goes:
I’m leaving tomorrow, and truth be told this is the worst I have ever felt. Ever.
I don’t know how I can tell all of you guys how much I’m going to fucking miss you. I love each and every stinking last one of you so much! And I’m going to miss each and every stinking last one of you when I leave. I’m going to miss going to stupid gadong almost every weekend with you guys. And even though we didn’t know what we were there for or what we were going to do, every time I went was so fun because I had you there with me. Maybe I didn’t show it very well but I loved every minute of it.
I’m going to miss hanging out in Joenah’s bathroom talking about everything our weird little heads can think of until the sun comes up. I’m going to miss drawing fake stubble and mustaches, and playing with lip liner, eyeliner, and blush; all that makeup to achieve our sexy drag queen alter egos; Shirley and Mirley Bingo. And then singing in retarded opera style to ‘Toxic’ and ‘Time after Time’. Seriously Joenah, your bathroom is like my favorite hang out in Brunei. I don’t know how I’m going to go until June without a BPB!
I’m going to miss my Wednesday! And my second home, and our talks, and your chocolate-fondue-plastic-burning skills, and all that junk food! Freakin a! ;) And our LB discussions and how we drag on and on and on and on about music. And at sleepovers, fitting into your tiny ass bed, the two of us, squashed, and then me waking up earlier than you (always) and laughing at how funny you look when you sleep. HAHAHA. Hmm. Good times, good times. And I’m going to miss your big green chair. I fell in love with that thing the first time I laid eyes on it, and I still love it now. Filziepoo I am going to miss you so much. This time I’m not lying. No, really! Haha. I’m not :( I love you so much butch-tahiban-Wednesday. *SNIFF SNIFF*
Oh man. I’m going to miss everyone and everything.
I’m going to miss Sadderfuck and Toby with their sarcastic sense of humor.
Pokky…well just everything about him.
Alfinnnnn :( always the one who makes me feel better when everyone else leaves, I’m going to miss that stupid head and how he was always so mean to me.
Dom, hands down my most favorite guy ever. Gives the best hugs by FAR, and always knows what to say to make me feel better. Oh man I’m gonna miss him so much. Dom, I’m sorry if I spoiled your countdown by almost crying and holding on to you for dear life but hey, I couldn’t help it.
And Dan, I’m gonna miss him and how he’s so shy, but when he starts talking you see that he’s the nicest guy any girl could ask for. His timing’s just a little..off. Dude, with the next girl, don’t do what you did this time around, yes? ;)
SHAF! Ahh at least I know somebody will miss me. Haha whatever you say man your lip ring is fake. I love you though.
Yaya. Don’t you lose anymore weight or I’ll bite you! I’ll see you next year when you move to KL *fingers crossed* :D
As for the rest cause I know I forgot a lot, I’ll miss you all and I’ll see you when I come back in June for a short miserable two weeks. Whatever, it’s short but at least I’m coming back!
Don’t forget about me! And to email me, and update me on the gossip cause you know I love gossip!
Okay now that’s done, I think I’m going to finish packing and cry my eyes out some more, wishing I could stay here with all of you.
Love love
Naz xo
PS: Happy new years!
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